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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 2:29:24 GMT -5
 
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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How pathetic?
Sighing, the thin girl let her feet sink even more into the water, loving the sensation of the cold water on her pale, warm skin. Ezzie moved a strand of bright, neon dyed hair from her face. She was glad not many people came here, it was an amazing place to abuse herself, trying to get herself to eat. But no, she couldn't. No matter how many times she brought the cold apple to her lips, she just couldn't bite into it.
Ezzie took a deep breath, ready to give it at least one more try. She brought the apple slowly to her mouth. She growled in frustration when she couldn't get herself to eat it and threw it into the lake, almost ready to cry.[/color][/size] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 2:53:55 GMT -5
   definitelymaybe_______ The lake was the place he came to think. It was calm and peaceful most days, never too crowded. Today, Chris needed to think. Pressing issues flitted around in his mind, each idea presenting itself as a little firefly, blinking and blinking for his attention. Brown eyes lifted and scanned the shoreline, finding oddly hued hair attached to the head of a girl. He knew her, right? Ezeriah was her name. She was someone he considered a friend. Well, she was more like a work in progress, as far as their relationship went.
Board shorts were strung upon his hips, their rasta coloring matching a bright red t-shirt. He was ready for a swim, if he felt like it. He doubted he would. Drowning had always been a fear of his. It wasn't like he couldn't swim... But getting in very deep water freaked him out. Just the thought of not having air made him start to panic. His rainbow-clad feet were leading him to the small girl. She was nearly as tall as he, and skinny as hell.
A red apple soared through the air, and landed in the water with a low 'plop'. Of course, he suspected she had an eating disorder. She was simply too skinny. Lucky for her, he wasn't one to judge her on that. Not that he wouldn't try to help her if she ever confessed. Physcology was a favorite class of his. He had done an in-depth study on bulimia and anorexia. He had an idea of what went through her mind. And he knew exactly what she was doing to her body. Her internal organs would fail in a few years, he predicted, if she didn't get help.
It was a shame. She was a very pretty girl. Any guy would think so. He found himself nearing her quite rapidly without really realising it. "Hey," he said, still a few feet away. He didn't want to completely startle the girl. And she hadn't exactly invited him over. Debating whether or not to sit, he just kind of squatted next to her, hands on his knees. He was turned slightly towards her, kind brown eyes intently focused upon her. It was one of his quirks. He payed more attention to those he was with than most other people.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 13:26:09 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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"...Hey..."
Ezeriah jumped slightly when she heard she heard someone speak. She turned her head so she could look at him. Nick? No. Chris? Yeah, that was it... right.
Ezzie looked at him, her dark brown eyes curious. No one really talked to her much, so this was new.
"Hi," She replied. Sweet, simple, and to the point. Ezzie noticed he was sitting a little ways away and scooted over, patting the ground next to her, in case he did want to sit, "You can sit, if you want." She murmured quietly, her eyes staring intently at the ground.
Well, at least Ezzie had thought that was the right thing to do. Offered him a seat when he had been talking to her... That was the right thing to do... right?
She sighed inwardly, already confusing herself.
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 14:51:41 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______
Great, he had scared her. He should've said something sooner, or made more noise when approaching her. Personally, he hated when people kind of snuck up on him, even when they did not mean to. He noticed her move closer to him, and saw her hand gesturing for him to sit. Good, progress, at least. He wanted to get this girl to open up to him. It seemed like a challenge. Truthfully, Chris enbodies trustworthiness. He's just that person who listens, and won't repeat what he sees or hears.
His rainbows slip off of his feet, and he lets his toes settle into the moist sand. His eyes trail on the water, and he takes in the scene. This is why he loved to come out here. It was beautiful. Especially during the storm. He made a little shelter against a tree a ways down the shore. Often, he could be found there on rainy days, or nights when he couldn't sleep.
"It's so stunning," he said, talking about the lake, and the view. It was said quietly, his voice little more than a whisper. His knees were drawn up against his body, hands supporting his torso. "Do you come out here often?" came his question. He didn't think she did; he'd never seen her at the lake before. It was a possibility, though, and he just wanted to have a little something to say.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 15:07:45 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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Ezeriah picked up a little bit of sand in her fingers and let it run down her fingers and back onto the ground. She dug her toes into the sand, the cool sand sending goosebumps up her feet and legs. Ezzie let out a little shiver, the sand cooling down her feet.
Ezeriah nodded, agreeing with his comment, "Yeah, it's beautiful." She murmured, her head craned back to look at the sky. It was a yellow-red, slowly turning to sunset. It looked amazing, really.
At Chris' next question Ezeriah nodded slightly, "I come here when... when there aren't any people around." She said it quietly, almost reluctant to admit it. [/color] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 15:31:07 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______
Not surprising. He didn't really know who Ezeriah hung out with, who her friends were. Everytime he saw her she seemed to be alone. It was strange for a girl to be alone all the time, not surrounded by her chattering friends. But she obviously wasn't an ordinary girl. And if he was right about her eating habits, it was understandable for her to not be sociable. He took a look at her. Yeah, there was no doubt in his mind. He was right.
"Me too," he admitted. It was nice, to have company out here for once. She wasn't intrusive, annoying, pushy. She was just there, and it was comforting. He didn't need to impress her. He simply needed to be there, as she was. It wasn't a hard concept to grasp, but it seemed confusing when he thought about it. This girl hadn't yet judged him, he didn't think. And yeah, he liked it.
He lowered his upper body, now laying in the sand. His eyes were set upon the painting in the sky, the sun's masterpiece. It was setting low in the sky, nightfall soon to follow suit, replacing sunlight with moonlight. Truth be told, he had skinnydipped numerous times in this lake. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. It was simply fun, and it felt rather nice.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 15:45:41 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
____Ezeriah looked at the sky again, deep in thought. By the look in his eyes, she could somewhat tell he was surprised by what she said. No, she didn't have many friends. Truthfully, she was simply too scared to get close to anyone. What if they did the same to her as her father did? Or what if her father didn't like them and took it out on Ezzie? The pale girl's eyes closed momentarily, her face still looking upwards towards the sky. Ezzie looked at him when he spoke again and she smiled softly, "So I guess we both have something in common." She liked having someone to talk to, even if they didn't say much. At least someone to sit next to her and share the moment. Ezzie smiled again, suddenly feeling a lot happier. The water suddenly came a little further up, washing the sand off of Ezeriah's feet. She watch as the water came up again, tickling her toes. She looked at Chris, her dark eyes seeming bright, "Thanks," She murmured quietly.[/color] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 16:35:26 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______
Wind blew, ruffling his dark locks. The sky held no interest for him anymore. Instead, his brown eyes were fixed upon the girl next to him. Quiet, and very pretty. It was a shame that she had to suffer. That she didn't see her beauty when she looked into the mirror. A real shame, indeed. He was almost certain of his thoughts. He could count every rib, every spine vertebrae. Her arms were too skinny. Yet, this girl was still striving for perfection. She was off by about twenty-five pounds.
Still, she was a pretty girl. He looked away for a few seconds. No way did he want to be the creepy guy that stared. "For what?" he raised a brow. He stretched out his legs, the water now lapping at his calves instead of his toes. He wasn't very tall, but he was in good shape. His looks probably were responsible for most of his friendships. The petty ones. He was considerably attractive, and fit. If not for that, he'd just be the geeky guy. Fortunately, that title belonged to someone else.
His eyes briefly closed, and he tried to bring Ezeriah's face to mind. He did this often, whenever he met people. For some reason it bothered him to not be able to picture people. If he couldn't put a face with a name, he got irritated and often ended up scouring myspace for the person. Ez's face popped into place. Nope, no way he'd forget that face.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 16:47:24 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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Ezeriah sighed, putting one hand on her stomach. Her stomach ached, begging for food. But there was no way she could eat anything. Her body refused to let her--and she couldn't anyways. She needed to tell someone about her problem. Tell someone what happened throughout her life.
Ezzie rubbed her empty stomach, sitting up. She pulled her legs close again, her arms wrapping around them tightly, "Just sitting here with me." She said simply, "For talking to me, I guess."
Something inside told her to tell him--about everything--but she couldn't get herself to say the simple words of, I need help.
She opened her mouth, getting ready to say them, then looked away, closing her mouth again. She wanted to tell him, she realy did. But... but she couldn't. Ezzie wouldn't let herself. Something told her she should and something else told her she shouldn't.
"I need help." She finally whispered, her head dropping helplessly into her hands.[/color][/size] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 17:09:56 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______
He opened his eyes, taking in the real picture now. He focused upon Ezzie, watching her expressions. They changed, but always held a look of desperation. Her hand traveled to her stomach. He noticed. She withdrew again, forming a small huddling form of a girl by wrapping her arms around her knees. "I like talking to you," he stated simply. Not flirtaciously. Just honestly. He really did. Some girls got on his nerves quickly. Ezeriah intrigued him. The change was a welcome one.
He noticed each movement. Chris was an observant person. Her mouth opened and closed. And then came the words he wanted to hear, but didn't expect to hear at all. He barely knew her, and she had reached out to him for the help she so desperately needed. And he was touched. Seriously, he felt better about himself than ever before. With a push, he was sitting up again, his large hand lifting to smooth over her hair. It was a wonder it wasn't falling out, since she dyed it a lot apparently, coupled with anorexia.
"What do you need help with?" he asked her. Admitting to it was a huge step. Actually speaking aloud the words to another person was important to the process. It showed she knew something was wrong, and that she wanted it to get better. He believed she did, but she needed to believe it as well. "I'll help you..." his tones were soft, comforting. She'd picked the right person. She'd chosen to tell someone who actually cared.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 17:32:03 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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Ezeriah liked when he said that he liked talking to her, 'cause she liked talking to him, too. It was nice to finally talk to someone--instead of always sitting alone and all huddled up inside of herself. She was always scared that she would get hurt again, so she would always withdraw into herself, her only safe sanctuary. But a girl needed to talk at least sometimes.
Her chin quivered when he stroked her hair gently. She held in a cry and closed her eyes, a single tear running down her cheek. Her whole body shuddered at the thought of actually telling him. But she could tell he wanted to hear it.
Taking a deep breath, Ezeriah spoke, "I can't eat. I try--I really do. But," She shook her head, "I just can't. I haven't had a good meal--or let myself fully eat it--in years." She surpressed another shudder and taking another deep breath, "I've been so afraid of being fat... And ugly."[/color] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 17:52:20 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______
He removed his hand, letting it fall onto his leg. Sand had stuck to his wet calves, leaving them all grainy. He listened. Didn't speak, just listened. He had plenty of practice, most of his friends being girls. He'd heard his share of hookups, breakups, and brokenhearts. But this was the first time he'd had to listen to this. It was sad, really. He'd grown immune to most guy problems, as they were routine. This tugged at his heart.
"Look here," he waited for her to lift her face, to look him in the eye. "You will never be ugly. Ever. And by the looks of things, you won't be getting fat either..." he paused. She knew all of the risks, consequences of her disease, he guessed. "You can eat. Eventually. Maybe not right now, but you can start small.." he looked at the water, then back at the girl. He didn't quite know what to do. She needed to go to a correctional facility if she simply couldn't bring herself to eat. That kind of shit needed professionals.
"I will help you, Ez, if you want. Anything you need. Even if you just need... Someone. You know I'm here for you," he said it with every word truthful. "I'll do whatever it is you need me to do. But I think you need to go to the hospital," his eyes shifted away from her again. He wanted to know so many things. How did it start? Why? What went through her mind? How many times had she passed out from this? Did she have chest pains? Was she going to be okay?
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 18:18:11 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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Ezeriah looked at him, her eyes filled with complete desperation and sadness. She liked it how he didn't interrupt in the middle of her sentence and how he actually listened. Some people wouldn't bother even listening, whether it was the worst thing in the world. Ezzie rubbed her stomach again, looking at it Her shirt was tight, so you really could tell she was super thin.
She looked up, almost reluctant to have to look him in the eyes. When he said that she could never be ugly, images of her father flashed through her mind. Him having his fist high, yelling, or looking at her with pure disgust. He had said she was ugly--and he was supposed to love her. She had known he was taking his anger out, but he had said something that changed her whole entire life.
"I want you to help me," She said slowly, "But I can't go to the hospital. If my Dad finds out..." Ezeriah shuddered at the thought. If her father found out, she'd be in so much trouble. There was no way she could avoid being beaten and insulted. She knew he would start calling her a mistake and things that would hurt even more than being called fat and ugly and stupid.
"I really, really can't go to the hospital. Or the docot for that matter." [/color][/size] |
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Post by Chris Brody on Aug 10, 2007 18:37:46 GMT -5
definitelymaybe_______ His eyes narrowed. Her dad... Her dad what? He really wasn't going to pry anything out of her. She would tell him in her own time if he needed to know. If not, he'd have a lot of unanswered questions. The urge to just give her a huge hug coursed through his veins. She didn't seem like the hugging type, which was too bad. He was known for his good hugs.
"Okay, so no doctor or hospital..." he paused. "You really do need to get checked out... How about we'll go to the doctor when you gain ten pounds? Because... Well, your insides probably aren't in the best condition, and if there's something wrong, I don't want to wait until it's too late." It made sense in his mind. If they waited, and something was terribly wrong, then if she got sick he'd feel as if it were his fault for not forcing her to the hospital.
"Do you have any idea how I can help you on my own?" he really didn't know, unless she just wanted someone to talk to. That seemed to be all any girl wanted from him. There was Halley. Lord knows she never saw him as anything more than a friend. Nor did Gretch. He had resigned himself to this fate though. Things may change in college.
There, he could leave this place behind, all of the drama and cliques. He could go anywhere, with his grades. And quite frankly, he had no one to tie him down here. His mother, who lived about seventy miles north of the school, was well on her way to dying. Terminal Heart Failure. As a model, she'd suffered from anorexia for many years, which is why he had taken to studying the subject so hard. And now here he was, with a girl who had spilled her secret to him, wanting his help. And he badly wanted to give it, just wanted to give her the ability to eat.
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Post by |E|zeriah |L|ullaby on Aug 10, 2007 18:59:28 GMT -5
SMiLE Like You Actually MEAN iT
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Ezeriah noticed his eyes narrow and she sighed, "I'd tell you if I could," She murmured. Her dark eyes scanned the ground, as if looking for something. Ezzie couldn't talk about her father. She simply couldn't. She couldn't begin to describe what he did or what he would do if he knew she told someone. She sighed, tugging at her hair a little.
"T-That sounds good." She murmured, "Though I have no idea how I'll gain that much weight." She looked at her stomach again, almost counting her ribs. Blinking, she just noticed how thin she was and how bad it was, "I totally ruined my life."
At his next question, Ezeriah tapped her chin with her finger, still thinking, "Actually, yes there is." She tugged at her hair again, "If you could somehow encourage me to eat... I dunno how you'll do that but..." Her voice trailed off, shrugging slightly.
"I'm just wondering, you care about this a lot more than other people..." She shrugged, trying to put her thoughts into words, "Why? I mean, a lot of people would simply say, 'I'm so sorry!' and walk away." Ezzie shrugged again, her eyes traveling back to the ground.[/color][/size] |
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